loving Emmett

So I can't decide what to title this post. And it is more a Kristen thinking out loud trying to digest the weeks events.
I had a new nephew born Tuesday night. His name is Emmett Jared Erickson. He is the son of my brother just younger than me and brave wife Cassie. Emmett was delivered by an emergency C-section at 26 1/2 weeks. He weighs 1 lb 15 oz. and is just longer than Jared's hand.

I don't want to tell the whole story out of privacy and respect because I was not there and really have no way of comprehending the stress, fear, and joy that those two have been through in the last week.

A breif overview however is probably necessary so here it is. Cassie got pre-eclampsia and within 24 hours her body was shutting down. Intitially the doctors thought Cassie could make it to 28 weeks with medication but there was a very sudden turn in health Tuesday afternoon. From what I am told, she was close to dieing when they delivered Emmett three hours later.

I received a phone call to tell me what was going on Sunday and immediately began praying for my brother, his wife and their unborn child. I got on the computer and looked up statistics and what 26 weeks meant for the baby and pre-eclampsia meant for Cassie. As I was reading I just began to sob. I could only imagine the fear that Jared had to have been feeling as he watched his wife go through so much pain for this little boy inside of her that neither of them had met but loved.

I was so consumed by it all. I couldn't think or do anything. I just milled around the house unfocused on anything. I prayed and prayed and prayed. There have been few times that I have felt completely helpless in a situation. This was one of them. I was forced to put all my trust in the Lord that he would provide the comfort to Jared I so wanted but couldn't give him. That he would ease Cassie's pain and if it was his will that Emmett would pull through. I questioned the strength my faith. Was it really enough to bring about a miracle for Jared and his little family? I prayed that my faith would be enough. I fasted more diligently and completely than I have in a long time.

I wanted so badly to be there for Jared but I knew that the only person that could truely be there for all of them was our Heavenly Father. As they face the long months ahead, I know he will continue to watch over them and his will, will be done.

I think of Cassie and tears come to my eyes. The sacrifice she has so willingly made for Emmett and will continue to make as she stays by his side to watch over him as he grows. The role of motherhood has become hers and she so willingly has taken it.


When I got this picture from my dad I was overwhelmed with pride and love for Jared. It is a weird feeling when your younger sibling, who you have always been able to give advice to, grows up in ways you have never experienced. When they are going through something you have no reference point for and no understanding of. But, in this one picture my little brother grew up in my eyes. I can see his tenderness and love for his little child. He is a father and husband of a family. And he is a worthy priesthood holder who could bless his family when they needed it. I just can't really express my feeling about that. But my heart is so full.

I have yet to meet Emmett but I love him so much. I have thought, if I prayed as diligently for all those I loved as I have for Emmett, whom I have not met, would I have these deep feelings of love for them also. I know I would.

The events of this week have strengthened my testimony and recommitted me to the small and simple things that bring miracles. Prayer, the priesthood, faith and fasting. I know that motherhood and fatherhood is a divinely appointed role and that families are ordained of God. I am grateful for a Heavenly Father who knows us and loves us.